Unmasking False Shame for Greater Freedom

by | Feb 18, 2021 | Clarity, Personal Development, Professional Development, Talent

False shame can hold us back from ever truly enjoying our lives, but it’s possible to unmask this nasty little imposter–and dump it for good.

A client I’ll call Jim has a big diocesan job and a solid reputation for his achievements in youth ministry. He’s a highly respected leader, and yet he recently admitted to carrying a heavy burden: a nagging concern that he might be suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

For Jim, it is energizing to create detailed outlines and checklists, to catalog best practices in his field, to schedule and plan his life with great care, and to communicate clear expectations for everyone on his team. If his abilities sound enviable, they are, but because of a misunderstanding of his own talent, his self-image was marred by a false label that made him feel anxious and broken: OCD.

Through our exploration of his CliftonStrengths® report, Jim discovered that he had a somewhat rare dominant talent called Consistency®—a natural servant-leader’s ability to create clear expectations, to achieve efficiency through uniform guidelines in his organization, and to provide fair and equal treatment of everyone within his sphere of influence.

After just three sessions, Jim grasped that he was well suited to managing the high-pressure demands of his job, as well as his team. Even more exciting, his Bishop was, at that very moment, asking Jim to evaluate the best youth ministry programs in the diocese and assemble a report.

Jim realized with amazement that, not only was he uniquely equipped for the work ahead, but the mission of compiling a set of best practices to help every parish in the diocese succeed had been a cherished dream of his for many years.

God’s incredible generosity and perfect timing wowed him.

“I feel confident for the first time,” he said.

With his Consistency® talent now free to grow in power and influence, his confidence is well-founded.

  1. We can misunderstand talents because we simply don’t know that’s what they are!
  2. If you have Consistency® high, watch out for false labels like “obsessive” or “rigid.”
  3. Understanding our talents can set us free to live our dreams.

“For the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29)

Find out about your own talents* If you haven’t already taken the CliftonStrengths® assessment, check out your options, here: https://store.gallup.com/c/en-us/assessments

Take the first steps toward talent awareness:

  1. Once you get your report, spend some relaxed time reading each of your top talent themes aloud with a coach or a trusted friend.
  2. Pause frequently to reflect on any words, phrases, or sections of the report that resonate with you.
  3. Share stories about how your talents have shown up in your life, in the past.
  4. Notice the talents that previously just seemed like quirks, as well as the ones you have recognized over time as special abilities.
  5. Notice where your natural talents have created obstacles for you or for others.
  6. Explore the ways your natural abilities have helped you succeed.
  7. Make plans to develop and harness your talents for greater success and happiness.

Remember: “quirks” or “weird” tendencies are often simply mislabeled talents with the potential to transform your life. For more on Consistency®, watch this video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKHNZ0qleCE

* My private clients and members of the Wonderfully Made community are eligible to receive $10 off all assessments and upgrades. For more information on assessments, talent-development courses, memberships, private or group coaching, contact [email protected]

Lisa Mladinich
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